


#whipped

by circusgirlc



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, M/M, OT12 because I'm emo about them 24/7, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-27 05:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12074304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/circusgirlc/pseuds/circusgirlc
Summary: TaoTao:Does anyone wanna help me with this essay i’m stuck on?Read by 11 peopleTaoTao:Y’all can go suck a dickJongdae’s hoe:gladly-----Chanyeol is obvious, Kyungsoo is oblivious and no one says no to Yixing.





	1. Fuck This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The members chat names are:
> 
> TaoTao: Tao  
> Dog lord: Kai/Jongin  
> No.1 Vivi supporter: Sehun  
> Lu: Luhan  
> Kyungsoo: D.O/Kyungsoo  
> Kris: Kris/Yifan  
> Myeonie: Suho/Junmyeon  
> XingXing: Lay/Yixing  
> Jongdae's hoe: Baekhyun  
> Baekhyun's hoe: Chen/Jongdae  
> Yeol: Chanyeol  
> Hot dad: Xiumin/Minseok

##### Fuck This

##### 

**TaoTao:** Do you guys ever think about how many toes there are in the world?

**Kyungsoo:** I hate this chat and everyone in it.

**Lu:** ^

**Hot dad:** ^^

**Yeol:** but not me right soo?

**Kyungsoo:** Especially you.

**Jongdae’s hoe:** and that kids is the sound of all of Chanyeol’s hope dying

**Yeol:** soos just joking!! i know that

**Kyungsoo:** Do you guys ever think about how much quieter life would be without Chanyeol around?

**Yeol:** but i love you soooooo

**Kyungsoo:** That’s nice.

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Why did no one tell me savage Kyungsoo hyung was out?? You hoes would really let me miss that??

**Myeonie:** Sehun! Language!

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** But hyung you know you’re my favourite hoe?

**Myeonie:** Awhh Sehun

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** and here comes Jongin in 3

**Jongdae’s hoe:** 2

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** 1

**Dog lord:** Sehunnie I thought I was your favourite hoe?

**Hot dad:** I can’t believe that works every time

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I -

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Shit u right, sorry not sorry Junmyeon hyung

**Dog Lord:** ^-^

**Yeol:** #whipped

**Kris:** you can hardly talk Chanyeol

**Kris:** and babe you’re my favourite hoe

**Myeonie:** I would hope so if you want to get any tonight

**TaoTao:** I would like to delete that image from my brain

**Lu:** But then your brain would be empty

**TaoTao: @Hot dad** Your boyfriend is being mean

**Hot dad:** Last I checked, there’s nothing mean about telling the truth

**TaoTao:** Xiiiinnnnggg

**XingXing:** Come on guys, leave poor TaoTao alone

**TaoTao:** Luv u XingXing

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Suck up

**XingXing:** What was that Sehun?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Nothing Yixing hyung!! I was just saying how hot you looked today

**XingXing:** Thank you Sehunnie ^-^

**Dog lord:** “Sehunnie” ??????

**Lu:** Uh oh

**Dog lord:** “S e h u n n i e” ?????

**Myeonie:** Okay kids, don’t you think it’s about time you get on with uni work?

**Kris:** you know they’re not actually our kids, right?

**Myeonie:** W u Y i f a n

**Kris:** okay kids, listen to your mother

**Yeol:** #whipped

**Kyungsoo:** Shut up Chanyeol.

**Yeol:** anything for u soo

**Jongdae’s hoe:** i’m gonna puke

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** don’t worry babe, i’ll hold your hair

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Do you think chanyeol realises how obvious he is?

**Kyungsoo:** Obvious about what?

**Dog lord:** .....

**Jongdae’s hoe:** .......

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** .........

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I give up

**TaoTao:** Does anyone wanna help me with this essay i’m stuck on?

**Read by 11 people**

**TaoTao:** Y’all can go suck a dick

**Jongdae’s hoe:** gladly

 

* * *

##### Fuck This

##### 

**Yeol: @Kyungsoo** can u come to the studio to record vocals?

**Kyungsoo:** Why?

**Yeol:** youd sound so good on the song we are writing

**Kyungsoo:** You think I have the time for that?

**XingXing:** Come on Kyungsoo, your voice is perfect for this song!!

**Kyungsoo:** Alright then, i’ll be there in 10 minutes hyung.

**XingXing:** Yay!!

**No.1 Vivi supporter: @Yeol** Ouch you okay hyung?

**Yeol:** never been better hahahaha

**Yeol:** hahaha

**Yeol:** ha

**Yeol:** i have to get back to the studio bye guys

**Lu:** Great, you broke Chanyeol

 

* * *

##### The Hoes™

##### 

**Yeol:** hahahaha dont you love being rejected by ur crush

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** oh boy, here we go

**Jongdae’s hoe:** dude he’s still coming to the studio

**Yeol:** BUT HE NEVER DOES THINGS WHEN I ASK!!!!!

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** okay but no one says no to Yixing hyung

**Jongdae’s hoe:** yeh it’s the rules

**Yeol:** maybe ur right i mean he wouldve said no too if jongdae was the one asking

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** I am offended

**Jongdae’s hoe:** woah babe, a capital “I”? calm down

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** i’m chill i’m chill

**Yeol:** asdfghjkfhfsfnlkjgoerhgerlrgndkfsm

**Jongdae’s hoe:** you okay there hoe no.3?

**Yeol:** whydoeshehavesuchaperfectsingingvoiceplsENDME

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** you need me to come to the studio for moral support?

**Yeol:** p l e a s e

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** i’ll be there in 5 mins

**Yeol:** jongdae ur my best friend ily

**Jongdae’s hoe:** uhm bitch i’m right here

**Yeol:** srry dae ur my best friend after baek

**Jongdae’s hoe:** too late bitch go choke on Kyungsoo’s dick

**Yeol:** dtfyguhijonfwpmdksuwuohgfiejhfuck

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** do i need to call an ambulance?

**Yeol:** i choked on my drink bc of baeks text and soo started patting my back HE TOUCHED ME GUYS

**Jongdae’s hoe:** why am i friends with you

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** i’m at the studio, Chanyeol looks like he’s dying and Yixing hyung is v concerned

**Jongdae’s hoe:** don’t care let the hoe suffer

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** this is why i’m the nice friend Baek

**Jongdae’s hoe:** it’s more fun being a bitch Dae

**Yeol:** j o n g d a e

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** gotta go, the hoe is struggling

**Jongdae’s hoe:** Jongdae: i’m the nice friend

**Jongdae’s hoe:** Jongdae 2 secs later: calls Chanyeol “the hoe”

 

* * *

##### Fuck This

##### 

**Hot dad:** Why do Monday’s drag so much? Work seemed to last forever today

**XingXing:** Tell me about it, Yeol and I spent hours in the studio today

**XingXing:** It’s 8pm and I only just got home

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Yeah Chanyeol hyung only got home 10 minutes ago and went straight to his room

**Lu:** Speaking of, Chanyeol hasn’t said anything here since Kyungsoo rejected him

**Kyungsoo:** I didn’t reject him, I still went to the studio.

**Lu:** Because Yixing asked

**Kyungsoo:** You don’t say no to Yixing hyung.

**Jongdae’s hoe:** it’s the rules

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** where did these rules come from?

**Hot dad:** Junmyeon probably

**Lu:** Junmyeon

**Kris:** Myeonie

**TaoTao:** Probably our literal mum Junmyeon hyung

**Myeonie:** YES OKAY WE GET IT

**Kyungsoo:** Luhan hyung is right though, Chanyeol’s never this quiet.

**Jongdae’s hoe:** .......

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** ...........

**Yeol: @No.1 Vivi supporter** pls come to my room

**Kris:** is anyone surprised anymore that Chanyeol shows up as soon as Kyungsoo mentions him?

**Yeol:** oh hey soo didnt notice you there

**TaoTao:** I call bullshit

**Kyungsoo:** What do you mean Tao?

**TaoTao:** I.....

**TaoTao: @Yeol** What do you need Sehun for?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Yeah we literally live in the same house, come to my room hyung

**Dog lord:** is that a good idea?

**Yeol:** what if i cant leave my room and you clearly have headphones in so i have to message you here

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** .... You got stuck under your bed again didn’t you?

**Yeol:** maybe...

**Myeonie:** Again? This has happened before?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Sigh i’m coming now hyung

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** Sehun is done on a whole new level

**Yeol:** ur the best dongsaeng!!!

**Kyungsoo:** Idiot.

**Yeol:** soooooo dont be mean

**Yeol:** comfort me in these hard times

**Kyungsoo:** Oh, would you look at the time, I have to go.

**TaoTao:** Every day I lose more and more faith in Chansoo being real

**Kris:** ^

**Lu:** ^^

**Dog lord:** ^^^

**Jongdae’s hoe:** sorry Chanyeol but ^^^^

 

* * *

##### Hot dad + Kyungsoo

##### 

**Kyungsoo:** HE GOT STUCK UNDER THE BED.

**Kyungsoo:** AGAIN.

**Kyungsoo:** WHAT A DORK.

**Kyungsoo:** I WANT TO PROTECT HIM.

**Hot dad:** Y’know, instead of just yelling to me every time he does something you apparently find cute, you could just be nice and stop pretending you can’t stand him?

**Kyungsoo:** Sounds like hard work.

**Hot dad:** Lord knows I need at least a bottle of wine to deal with this...

**Hot dad:** Okay but y’know maybe he’d realise your feelings then?

**Kyungsoo:** That’s exactly why I act the way I do hyung

**Hot dad:** But Kyungsoo if he knows your feeling then you could maybe idk, act like normal people and date?

**Kyungsoo:** But Chanyeol doesn’t have feelings for me?

**Hot dad:** Breathe Minseok breathe

**Kyungsoo:** ?

**Hot dad:** Sigh whatever go back to telling me about your dork

**Kyungsoo:** Well considering you asked.

**Kyungsoo:** HE’S SO CUTE. HE’S SO TALL BUT HE ACTS SO SMOL THAT HE PROBABLY FORGETS HOW TALL HE IS SOMETIMES.

**Kyungsoo:** HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE GOTTEN STUCK UNDER HIS BED? THAT’S ADORABLE, HE’S ADORABLE.

 

* * *

##### The Gays

##### 

**Hot dad:** Babe I need like a bottle of wine right now

**Hot dad:** Oh god he’s gushing about Chanyeol’s ears now

**Hot dad:** Make it two bottles

**Lu:** Babe it’s Monday night, you have work tomorrow

**Hot dad:** Did I fucking stutter?

**Lu:** I’m about to head home, i’ll pick some up on the way

**Hot dad:** I love you

**Lu:** I love you too baby

**Hot dad:** Buy me the good wine and i’ll suck your dick later

**Lu:** 2BOTTLESOFGOODWINECOMINGUP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!! I've never written a chatroom style fic before so I'm finding it really fun!!
> 
> Updates to this fic will probably come at random times as I'm using it as a little break in between writing a fic I have in progress (if anyone has read my Chanbaek fic and is wondering, yes the fic in progress is the Chensoo fic). I can't promise an update every week but maybe every two weeks depending on uni (I'm starting first year next week rip me).
> 
> If you want to come talk to me then you can hmu at @soft-jihoonie on tumblr and @pcy_hoe on twitter!!


	2. Mystery Inc.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Lu: @Hot dad** I thought we were gay for each other but
> 
> **Hot dad:** No one’s as gay for each other as Jongin and Sehun
> 
> **No.1 Vivi supporter:** We’re just best friends hyung, what are you talking about?
> 
> **TaoTao:** ....
> 
> **TaoTao:** Back to more important matters, how did Chanyeol hyung get stuck under the bed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just to clarify, everyone's in University apart from Kris, Minseok and Luhan who finished university the year before and are now working. So, everyone's ages are younger but really it won't be that relevant in the fic.

##### Mystery Inc.

##### 

**TaoTao changed the chat name to Mystery Inc.**

TaoTao: It’s been 3 days and I still don’t know how Chanyeol hyung got stuck under his bed

 **TaoTao:** Gang let’s split up and look for clues

**No.1 Vivi supporter: @Dog lord** I thought we agreed to stop Tao watching Scooby Doo late at night?

**Dog lord:** i live with him, i’m not his mum 

**TaoTao:** Sehunnie tell us what happened

**Dog lord:** what was that hyung?

**TaoTao:** My finger slipped I meant to call him Sehun I promise

**Dog lord:** that’s what I thought

**TaoTao:** Y’all that was terrifying he came into my room and stared at me until I wrote that message

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Really?

**Dog lord:** no, what? tao hyung was just joking around, why would I do that?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Tao hyung I thought we’d gotten past your compulsive liar phase?

**Myeonie:** Okay kids let’s chill before Tao gets pissy

**Lu:** What I want to know is why Jongin only uses a capital letter at the start of Sehun’s name but not the rest of us

**Kris:** huh, you’re right he does do that

**Dog lord:** Sehunnie is the only one who’s worthy

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said about me I think i’m going to cry

**Dog lord:** don’t cry Sehunnie, do you want me to come round to cuddle and watch films?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Why aren’t you here already?

**TaoTao:** Jongin just ran out the house I shit you not

**Lu: @Hot dad** I thought we were gay for each other but

**Hot dad:** No one’s as gay for each other as Jongin and Sehun 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** We’re just best friends hyung, what are you talking about?

**TaoTao:** .... 

**TaoTao:** Back to more important matters, how did Chanyeol hyung get stuck under the bed?

**Jongdae’s hoe: @Yeol**

**Yeol:** oh i didnt realise you guys cared that much

**Kyungsoo:** We don’t.

**Yeol:** i dropped my favourite guitar pick on the floor and it bounced under my bed so obviously i had to get it back

**Yeol:** sometimes i forget how big i am though and my back was hunched so it stopped me from sliding back out idk im dumb

**Kyungsoo:** HOW PRECIOUS.

**Jongdae’s hoe: @Baekhyun’s hoe** babe it’s HAPPENING

**Yeol:** wait really soo?

**Kyungsoo:** Oh sorry were you saying something Chanyeol? I was responding to the conversation I actually cared about.

**Kyungsoo:** I’m referring to Jongin and Sehun being cute by the way.

**Hot dad:** Can you guys hear how loud i’m sighing rn?

**Myeonie:** Same hyung

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** you took me away from my game for a fucking false alarm????

**Jongdae’s hoe:** i’m sORRY BABE ILY 

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** whatever just come home soon I miss you

**XingXing:** YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE I’M SOFT

**Yeol:** SAME I LOVE MY SOFT HOES

**Myeonie: @Kris** When will you ever talk to me like that?

**Lu: @Kris** Run

* * *

##### Mum, dad and their confused son

##### 

**Kyungsoo:** FUCK.

**Kyungsoo:** WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?

**Myeonie: @Hot dad** It’s breakdown time again

**Hot dad:** Oh great my favourite time

**Kyungsoo:** HOW COULD I SLIP UP LIKE THAT I’M SO DUMB.

**Hot dad:** I can’t believe they were all dumb enough to believe you were talking about Sehun and Jongin though

**Kyungsoo:** HE WAS JUST SO CUTE! HE HAS A FAVOURITE GUITAR PICK, THAT’S ADORABLE.

**Kyungsoo:** I JUST WROTE THE MESSAGE WITHOUT EVEN THINKING PLEASE END ME.

**Myeonie:** Kyungsoo chill, no one’s even talking about it

**Hot dad:** Yeah you’re lucky Baekhyun and Jongdae were being so cute

**Kyungsoo:** Chanyeol probably saw right through me and is now laughing at me in his stupid The Hoes™ chat.

**Hot dad:** I’m pretty sure Chanyeol is moping in that chat right now

**Kyungsoo:** Why would Chanyeol be moping?

**Hot dad:** Junmyeon you better hold me back i’m ‘bout to strangle this child

**Myeonie:** Hyung calm down, he’s young and confused

**Kyungsoo:** Why are you talking about me as if I'm not here?

**Hot dad:** Because whatever I say won’t get into your thick head, honestly how can you be so oblivious?

**Kyungsoo:** I don’t understand.

**Kyungsoo:** You’re confusing me, hyung. It’s a little upsetting.

**Kyungsoo:** Do you really think I’m stupid?

**Hot dad:** Sigh no I don’t i’m sorry Kyungsoo

**Myeonie:** Minseok hyung just got a little carried away, work’s been tiring him out

**Hot dad:** Yes exactly, I didn’t mean to snap at you

**Kyungsoo:** I can stop screaming about Chanyeol to you guys if it’s annoying?

**Myeonie:** NO

**Hot dad:** N O

**Myeonie:** It’s not annoying, i’d much rather you talk to us about it than keep it all bottled in

**Hot dad:** Yeah we’re your hyungs, this is what we’re meant to do

**Kyungsoo:** Thank you hyungs, I really do appreciate it.

**Kyungsoo:** And thank you for keeping it a secret for me.

**Myeonie:** You’re welcome kid

**Hot dad:** Anything for our smol child!!

* * *

##### Ew

##### 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** TAO

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** TAO

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** ZITAO

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** HUANG ZITAO

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** BITCH

**TaoTao:** WHAT?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** JONGIN FELL ASLEEP WITH HIS HEAD IN MY LAP HE’S SO CUTE

**TaoTao:** Bitch don’t touch me I am soft

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** WHAT DO I DO?

**TaoTao:** What do you mean what do you do?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I NEED TO PEE

**TaoTao:** NO YOU FUCKING DON’T BITCH YOU HOLD THAT SHIT IN

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** BUT

**TaoTao:** NO BUTS. THERE IS A PUPPY ASLEEP ON YOU, DON’T YOU DARE WAKE HIM

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Shit u right

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** VGYFECBHIJNCODFKMCDNCJSKNCSCBH 

**TaoTao:** SEHUN?

**TaoTao:** WHAT HAPPENED?

**TaoTao:** ARE YOU OKAY?

**TaoTao:** OH SEHUN YOU ANSWER ME RIGHT THIS SECOND

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** HE WOKE UP AND STRETCHED AND LOOKED UP AT ME ALL CUTE 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** AND HE SAID

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** HE SAID

**TaoTao:** WHAT THE FUCK DID HE SAY?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** “Sehunnie you’re so warm, maybe I should sleep next to you every night”

**TaoTao:** BITCH

**TaoTao:** OHMYGOD

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I KNOW

**TaoTao:** WHAT DID YOU SAY???

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I JUST GOT ALL RED AND FLUSTERED AND TOLD HIM I NEEDED THE BATHROOM AND RAN OUT THE ROOM

**TaoTao:** Sehun you idiot! You should’ve said something like “maybe you should”!!!!

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I KNOOOWWW but I didn’t want to scare him off

**TaoTao:** Why would that scare him off?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Because he doesn’t like me obvs

**TaoTao:** OH SEHUN YOU’RE GONNA PEE AND THEN YOU’RE GONNA GO FLIRT YOUR ASS OFF

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** BUT HYUNG

**TaoTao:** S E H U N

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Fucking fine but if this ends badly then i’m exposing you in the group chat

**TaoTao:** Empty threats don’t hurt me bitch

* * *

##### Mystery Inc.

##### 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** TAO HYUNG HAS A SUGAR DADDY

**TaoTao:** SEHUN

**Yeol:** vgdbhfjeoe henedjdhbncjk

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** OH MY GOD

**Kyungsoo:** Interesting.

**Kris:** eyyy good job son

**Myeonie:** KRIS

**Kris:** I mean, that doesn’t seem very responsible son

**Lu: @Hot dad** I TOLD YOU TAO WAS THE MAIN HOE

**Hot dad:** FUCK I SO HAD MY BETS ON SEHUN

**Dog lord:** ??????????

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** ????????????

**Jongdae’s hoe:** TAO HAS A FUCKING SUGAR DADDY I’M SCREAMING

**XingXing:** You have a sugar daddy Tao?

**TaoTao:** Uh sort of?

**XingXing:** I thought you’d be more responsible than that 

**TaoTao:** SEHUN LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YIXING HYUNG IS DISAPPOINTED IN ME

**TaoTao:** NOW I HAVE TO GO CRY FOR 5 HOURS

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I TOLD YOU I’D EXPOSE YOU IF IT WENT WRONG

**Dog lord:** if what went wrong?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I...

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Uh...

**No.1 Vivi supporter left the chat**

**Dog lord:** ??????????

**Kyungsoo:** Interesting.

**Yeol:** very interesting

**Kyungsoo:** Shut up, Chanyeol.

**Yeol:** okay soo!!

**Myeonie:** I worry about all of you kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I don't know when the next update will be as I had written this chapter before I posted the first chapter, but hopefully it won't be too long.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this!!
> 
> If you want to come talk to me then you can hmu at @soft-jihoonie on tumblr and @pcy_hoe on twitter!!


	3. My entire life is a lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **No.1 Vivi supporter:** I nominate Jongin as the new pure one of the group
> 
> **Yeol:** there aint nothing pure about the way jongin dances
> 
> **No.1 Vivi supporter:** shit u right I guess we’re all hoes
> 
> **Myeonie:** ?????????
> 
> **Kris:** babe I love you but stop tryna act like you’re pure

##### Mystery Inc.

##### 

**Dog lord added No.1 Vivi supporter to the chat**

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** About fucking time

**Dog lord:** sorry Sehunnie I was busy most of today

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** It’s okay Nini!! I was referring to the hyungs not doing it

**Yeol:** maybe we liked having a quiet chat for once

**Kyungsoo:** Does that mean I can kick you from the chat, Chanyeol?

**Yeol:** :(

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** He’s pouting at his phone rn

**Myeonie:** Kyungsoo that wasn’t very nice

**Kyungsoo:** He can pout all he likes, it won’t make me care any more.

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** He’s whining and it’s really annoying

**Kyungsoo:** Fine, for the sake of precious Sehun, I won’t kick Chanyeol from the chat.

**Yeol:** :3

**TaoTao:** Sehun and precious are words that shouldn’t go into the same sentence

**Dog lord:** Sehunnie is precious!!!

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Thank you Nini!!!

**Dog lord:** ^-^

**Kris:** just fuck already

**Myeonie:** Kris!!

**Kris:** sorry I meant just hug already

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** But Jongin and I hug all the time?

**Lu:** We should all just give up at this point

**Dog lord:** oh god our neighbour is having sex and they’re so loud like shut up

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Are you sure it’s not coming from Tao’s room?

**Dog lord:** unless Tao is suddenly no longer gay or has started moaning like a woman then I would say no

**Jongdae’s hoe:** LMAO TAO NOT GAY 

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** THAT’S THE FUNNIEST THING YOU’VE EVER SAID JONGIN

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Chanyeol hyung is laughing so much he’s started crying

**Hot dad:** Same tbh

**TaoTao:** Okay thanks guys we get it, i’m really fucking gay

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** So who’s your neighbour Nini?

**Dog lord:** that Hwasa girl from my dance class

**Yeol:** lmao sehun just said thank fuck out loud

**Yeol:** drtfgyhuijoefneijnjefjdhelpsbjbdsnlc

**Yeol:** uwvbidocjwposdnwgc dsy chsdbclka 

**Kyungsoo:** I’m glad Chanyeol’s finally getting beaten up by one of us.

**Dog lord:** ??????

**Yeol:** OKAY I WAS JOKING SEHUN DIDNT SAY THAT IM SORRY

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** No one likes a liar hyung

**TaoTao:** Hypocrite

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** So let me tell y’all more about Tao hyungs sugar daddy

**TaoTao:** Wait who said hypocrite? Wasn’t me nuh uh nope

**Jongdae’s hoe:** Hwasa? damn I would

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** lol

**Myeonie:** Uhm Jondae, doesn’t that upset you?

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** nah i agree with Baek, have you seen her thighs?

**Lu:** I’m 100% gay for Minseok but I admit her thighs are amazing

**Hot dad:** You still love my thighs though, right?

**Lu:** Uhm your thighs are my favourite why would you even ask that question?

**Hot dad:** U right, I know how much you love my thighs

**Dog lord:** they finally stopped fucking!!

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Remind me to tell Hwasa to keep it down so she doesn’t put Nini in another uncomfortable situation

**Yeol:** .....

**Kyungsoo:** Don’t say it.

**Yeol:** #whipped

**Kyungsoo:** I hate you.

**Yeol:** thats okay ily

**XingXing:** Sorry about the noise Jongin, i’m leaving now anyway. It won’t happen again!!

**Lu:** Wait

**Kris:** Yixing did you just

**Jongdae’s hoe:** YIXING HYUNG NO

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** YIXING HYUNG YOU’RE TOO PURE

**Myeonie:** Yixing please tell me you’re joking

**TaoTao:** My entire life is a lie

**Yeol:** Sehun looks like he’s about to cry

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I ALWAYS THOUGHT YIXING HYUNG WAS THE ONE KEEPING OUR GROUP PURE AND NOW EVERYTHING IS A LIE I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE

**Kyungsoo:** I have to admit even I’m surprised.

**XingXing:** Uh everyone needs a good fuck guys, nothing wrong with a one night stand

**XingXing left the chat**

**Myeonie:** I cannot believe

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I nominate Jongin as the new pure one of the group

**Yeol:** there aint nothing pure about the way jongin dances

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** shit u right I guess we’re all hoes

**Myeonie:** ?????????

**Kris:** babe I love you but stop tryna act like you’re pure

**Myeonie:** Good luck finding someone who’ll suck your dick as well as I do

**Lu:** Are you guys ever not fighting in this chat?

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** but onto the more important topic, one night stands yeah or nah?

**TaoTao:** Is that even a question? Yeah, one night stands are fucking great

**Jongdae’s hoe:** I did love them back when I was single

**TaoTao:** You’ve been in a relationship since like the 5th week of first year

**Jongdae’s hoe:** and? don’t underestimate my ability to get laid

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** you tell him babe

**Myeonie:** I will never understand your relationship

**Jongdae’s hoe:** well it seems like more fun than yours

**Lu:** FUCKING SAVAGE

**Hot dad:** Baekhyun, you did me proud

**Jongdae’s hoe:** thank you Minseok hyung :3

**Yeol: @Kyungsoo** what do u think about 1 night stands soo??????

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** Chanyeol when will you learn to be subtle?

**Yeol:** fuck off Jongdae i do what i want

**Jongdae’s hoe:** ooh rebel child

**Kyungsoo:** Why would I care about one night stands when I have an education to focus on?

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** did anyone else just hear Chanyeol’s sigh of relief??

**Lu:** I did

**Hot dad:** Same

**Dog lord:** me and tao did too!!

**Lu:** Okay but Sehun you haven’t answered the question

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** 10/10 love one night stands and would probs fuck whoever invented them

**Dog lord:** oh

**TaoTao:** Thanks Sehun now I have to go cheer him up

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** ??????? Why is Jongin upset? Who do I need to fight?

**Hot dad:** Sigh don’t worry Sehun, just go back to watching films with Chanyeol

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Okay, if you say so hyung

**Kris: @TaoTao** let me and Myeonie know if we can do anything to help

**TaoTao:** Any chance you can order some chicken for him

**Myeonie:** It’s already on its way to your house

**TaoTao:** Hyung you’re the best

**Myeonie:** Just look after him Tao, make sure he knows his hyungs are here for him

**Hot dad:** Do you ever realise we’re probably too soft for our dongsaengs?

**Lu:** But they’re so cute and smol we must protect

**Jongdae’s hoe:** Chanyeol and Sehun are hardly smol

**Kris:** THEY ARE SMOL OKAY

**Jongdae’s hoe:** yes dad

**Kris added XingXing back to the chat**

**XingXing:** I sensed there was an upset dongsaeng, do I need to do anything to help?

**Lu:** Go back to acting pure

**XingXing:** Okay hyung :3 :3

**Kris:** how the fuck does he do it??

* * *

##### Mystery Inc.

##### 

 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Does someone wanna tell me why Chanyeol hyung’s moping in my room?

**Hot dad:** Kyungsoo kicked him out the library because he was “being distracting”

**Yeol:** i wasnt even talking!!!!!!!

**Kyungsoo:** Your presence alone annoys me.

**Hot dad:** Kyungsoo....

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I’d stop now hyung, he looks genuinely upset

**Jongdae’s hoe:** hoe no.3 do you need me and Dae to come over w/ snacks?

**Yeol:** pls 

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** on our way!!

**Yeol:** i love u guys

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Hoe no.3? Why do you call him that?

**Jongdae’s hoe:** let me tell you all a story of great importance, one full of mystery and adventure 

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** we’ve been trying to convince Chanyeol to have a threesome with us since we started dating

**Jongdae’s hoe:** babeeeeeeeee I was gonna tell a story

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** sorry ily

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Wait really? Why didn’t I know about this?

**Yeol:** did u think id just come home and be like “hey dongsaeng my friends have been asking me to fuck them for like 2 years”?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Uhm yes i’m one of your closest friends

**Lu:** So you’re telling me y’all wanna fuck Chanyeol?

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** have you seen his fucking arms? yes please daddy

**TaoTao:** ....... I approve

**Myeonie:** I do not

**Kris:** so you know your best friends have the hots for you and you’re chill with it?

**Yeol:** yeh? its flattering

**Hot dad:** Is no one going to mention Jongdae calling Chanyeol daddy?

**Dog lord:** i approve

**Yeol:** sehun just choked on air

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Shut your mouth and go back to being sad

**Jongdae’s hoe:** really tho, Yeol is daddy as fuck

**Lu:** Tbf i’ve seen him shirtless and shit that boy is ripped

**Kyungsoo:** This conversation is dumb.

**Hot dad:** Can anyone else smell that jealousy right there?

**Yeol:** awh soo its okay youll find a best friend who wants to fuck u one day

**TaoTao: @Jongdae’s hoe** Has he always been like this?

**Jongdae’s hoe:** a dumbass? yeah since the day I met him in high school

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** fun fact: Baek’s highkey been wanting to get fucked by Yeol since high school

**Jongdae’s hoe:** all we ever did was make out I am upset

**Myeonie:** Wait, Baekhyun’s kissed Chanyeol?

**Yeol:** thats old news its been like 4 yrs since

**Lu:** Chanbaek rise

**Kyungsoo:** Luhan hyung please shut up.

**Lu:** Why me?

**Hot dad:** Babe just do it if you wanna live

**Lu:** Would it be worse or better if I said Chansoo rise?

**Kyungsoo:** What was that hyung?

**Lu:** noTHING

**Kyungsoo:** Glad someone knows when to shut up.

**Dog lord: @Yeol** he’s referring to you hyung

**Yeol:** i didnt even say anything ????

**Kyungsoo:** You always need to shut up.

**TaoTao:** Damn what’s got Kyungsoo so pressed?

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** we’re almost at yours Chanyeol, try to hold it together for a bit longer

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Please hurry up he looks so sad that it’s breaking my heart

**XingXing:** Sehunnie you’re so cute!!!

**Dog lord: @XingXing** fuckin fight me hyung

**XingXing:** Ah how cute!! Dw Jongin I could never steal Sehunnie from you

**Dog lord:** adsfdghhm that’s not what I meant

**XingXing:** If you say so ;)

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Can y’all stop being weird and help me stop the big baby pouting?

**Yeol:** i am NOT A BIG BABY

**Jongdae’s hoe:** of course you’re not, you’re daddy as fuck

**Yeol:** ily baekhyunnie

**Baekhyun’s hoe changed Jongdae’s hoe’s name to Baekhyunnie**

**Baekhyunnie:** ???

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** oh come on, it’s cute and it’ll cheer up Yeol

**Baekhyunnie:** fuckin fine but i’m still your hoe

**Jongdae’s hoe:** I know :3

* * *

##### Hot dad + Kyungsoo

##### 

**Kyungsoo:** HYUNG.

**Kyungsoo:** HYUNG THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

**Hot dad:** Uh huh okay, what’s wrong?

**Kyungsoo:** WHAT’S WRONG IS THAT CHANYEOL IS GOING TO FUCK BAEKHYUN AND JONGDAE, THAT’S WHAT.

**Hot dad:** That’s definitely not going to happen

**Kyungsoo:** WHAT DO I DO??

**Hot dad:** You do nothing, it’s not gonna happen

**Kyungsoo:** But Chanyeol’s kissed Baekhyun!!

**Hot dad:** Yeah, when they were like 16

**Kyungsoo:** He’s going to fuck them and then they’ll all fall in love and get married and Chanyeol will never look at me again.

**Hot dad:** I’m pretty sure that if Chanyeol was going to fuck them, he would’ve done it already

**Kyungsoo:** Oh god, what if he’s done it already?

**Hot dad:** “we’ve been trying to convince Chanyeol to have a threesome with us since we started dating”

**Hot dad:** Does any part of that sentence make you think they’ve already fucked?

**Kyungsoo:** Okay, maybe you’re right.

**Hot dad:** Of course I am

**Hot dad:** You know how to fix this situation?

**Kyungsoo:** How hyung?

**Hot dad:** Ask Chanyeol out and then you’ll be the only one he fucks

**Seen at 18:35**

**Hot dad:** Unbelievable 

* * *

##### My wife :3

##### 

**Hot dad:** How’s Chanyeol doing?

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** ngl hyung he’s actually pretty sad

**Hot dad:** Really? Kyungsoo acting like this doesn’t usually affect him that badly

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** i know but i think he’s finally giving up hope that Kyungsoo will ever like him

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** he started telling Baekhyun in this really sad voice that he’ll never be good enough for Kyungsoo and that it’s so tiring trying to make Kyungsoo like him

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** as you can imagine, Baek’s pretty pissed off

**Hot dad:** Shit

**Hot dad:** I’ll talk to Kyungsoo

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** We don’t want him to apologise to Chanyeol if he doesn’t mean it

**Hot dad:** Oh don’t worry, he’ll mean it

* * *

##### Tired parents

##### 

**Hot dad:** We have a problem

**Myeonie:** What’s wrong hyung?

**Hot dad:** We have to scold Kyungsoo

**Myeonie:** Do you want us to die?

**Hot dad:** Jongdae told me Chanyeol’s really upset

**Hot dad:** He said Chanyeol doesn’t think he’ll be good enough for Kyungsoo

**Hot dad:** I don’t know about you but I won’t let Kyungsoo make Chanyeol feel this way

* * *

##### Mum, dad and their confused son

##### 

**Myeonie:** DO KYUNGSOO

**Myeonie:** YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW

**Kyungsoo:** What’s wrong hyung?

**Hot dad:** What’s wrong is that Chanyeol thinks he’s not good enough for you

**Kyungsoo:** What are you talking about? Chanyeol’s fine.

**Hot dad:** Look, I know why you act that way around him but I refuse to let you take it so far that Chanyeol gets upset

**Kyungsoo:** Wait, Chanyeol’s actually upset?

**Myeonie:** YES

**Myeonie:** I WILL NOT LET YOU TREAT MY SON THAT WAY

**Hot dad:** Okay Junmyeon, chill, I think he gets it

**Kyungsoo:** Why is he so upset? Chanyeol’s never upset.

**Hot dad:** I don’t know about you but I’d get very upset if someone told me my presence alone was annoying

**Hot dad:** And that I always need to shut up

**Kyungsoo:** Maybe you’re right, I guess that was a bit harsh.

**Myeonie:** Go apologise

**Kyungsoo:** But then I’ll give away that it’s an act.

**Hot dad:** Kyungsoo this isn’t a fucking joke, he’s genuinely upset

**Kyungsoo:** You’re right, I’m being selfish. I’ll message him now.

**Hot dad:** Thank you

* * *

##### Tol and smol

##### 

**Kyungsoo:** Hey Chanyeol.

**Yeol:** this is Baekhyun. If you’re here to upset Chanyeol more then you should stop messaging him

**Kyungsoo:** Baekhyun, just give Chanyeol his phone.

**Kyungsoo:** Please.

**Yeol:** fuckin fine but i’m watching you

**Yeol:** hey soo...

**Kyungsoo:** Chanyeol! I have something I need to say

**Yeol:** look its okay i wont bother you anymore

**Yeol:** i get it you don’t want me around

**Kyungsoo:** NO.

**Kyungsoo:** That’s not what i’m trying to say.

**Kyungsoo:** I’m sorry.

**Yeol:** you are??? for what???

**Kyungsoo:** I don’t find your presence alone annoying.

**Kyungsoo:** And you don’t always need to shut up.

**Kyungsoo:** You’re a great guy and I took it too far this time.

**Kyungsoo:** So, I’m sorry for upsetting you.

**Kyungsoo:** I took my bad mood out on you, you didn’t deserve that.

**Kyungsoo:** Chanyeol?

**Kyungsoo:** Please say something.

**Yeol:** hey it’s Jongdae, Chanyeol’s crying right now

**Kyungsoo:** Oh. I didn’t mean to upset him more, I promise.

**Yeol:** nah he’s rambling on about how sweet and lovely you are

**Yeol:** honestly i can’t agree but

**Yeol:** thanks for apologising to him, we hate seeing him sad 

**Kyungsoo:** I went too far, I don’t like seeing him sad either.

**Yeol:** KYUNGSOo 

**Yeol:** YOURE SO CUTE MY HEART HURTS

**Yeol:** IM SORRY FOR ALWAYS BEING ANNOYING

**Kyungsoo:** You’re not annoying, Chanyeol.

**Kyungsoo:** I do want you around, you don’t have to stop talking to me.

**Yeol:** REALLY?

**Kyungsoo:** Yeah, sure. I guess you’re not that bad.

**Yeol:** WOW THATS THE NICEST THING YOU’VE EVER SAID TO ME

**Kyungsoo:** Okay Chanyeol, calm down now.

**Yeol:** sorry

**Yeol:** thank u for apologising

**Yeol:** im gonna go eat ice cream with the boys

**Yeol:** see you later!!!!

**Kyungsoo:** Have fun!

* * *

##### Mum, dad and their confused son

##### 

**Kyungsoo:** I apologised.

**Myeonie:** And?????

**Kyungsoo:** He was so happy he cried.

**Hot dad:** Of course he did, what a softie

**Kyungsoo:** He called me cute.

**Myeonie:** Why are you being so calm about that?

**Kyungsoo:** I screamed into my pillow and Yixing hyung came into my room to check on me.

**Kyungsoo:** HE FUCKING CALLED ME CUTE!!

**Hot dad:** There it is

**Kyungsoo:** HE’S SO SOFT AND ADORABLE, I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM.

**Myeonie:** Ahh young love, how cute

**Kyungsoo:** Oh, also.

**Hot dad:** This is the part where he tells us we’re dead

**Kyungsoo:** Thank you for calling me out hyungs, I took things too far. I never wanted to hurt him, I forget he’s not as strong as he seems sometimes.

**Myeonie:** OUR BOY IS GROWING UP

**Hot dad:** I’m so proud!!!!

**Kyungsoo:** Hyungs, you’re so weird.

**Hot dad:** True

**Myeonie:** Still proud

**Hot dad:** ^^

**Hot dad:** I’m so glad I took you under my wing before Kris did

**Hot dad:** One less kid he can ruin the innocence of

**Myeonie:** I want to defend him but

**Myeonie:** You’re 100% right

**Myeonie:** Ow! Note to self, don’t let Kris read my phone over my shoulder

**Hot dad:** R.I.P

**Kyungsoo:** Rookie mistake hyung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a very stressful week so here's a new update because this fic is so fun to write!! I hope you're all enjoying it. Sorry for the lil bit of angst I can't write a fic without angst lmao
> 
> If you want to come talk to me then you can hmu at @soft-jihoonie on Tumblr and @pcy_hoe on twitter!!


	4. E X C U S E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Myeonie:** OH SEHUN
> 
> **No.1 Vivi supporter:** ....... yes?
> 
> **Myeonie:** YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK
> 
> **No.1 Vivi supporter:** Uh you can’t do that, you don’t even live with me
> 
> **Myeonie:** @Yeol GROUND SEHUN FOR A WEEK

#####  Mystery Inc.

##### 

**Yeol:** i went home to visit my pupper

**Yeol:**

**Yeol:** isnt he the cutest

**Yeol:**

**Baekhyunnie:** ohmygod

**Baekhyunnie:** a doggo!!!

**TaoTao:** He’s so soft and fluffy I love him

**Myeonie:** Look at my cute Grandchild!!! 

**Kris:** babe it’s just a dog

**Myeonie:** He is my G r a n d c h i l d

**No.1 Vivi Supporter:** Hyung your dog is cute and everything, but he isn’t the cutest

**No.1 Vivi Supporter:** I mean have you seen my dog?

**No.1 Vivi Supporter:**

**Dog lord:** Sehunnie you know I love Vivi but

**Dog lord:** my babies are clearly the cutest 

**Dog lord:**

**Dog lord:** LOOK AT THEM

**Hot dad:** Jongin, did you really make a photo collage of your dogs?

**Dog lord:** it’s what they deserve hyung

**Sehunnie:** Okay fair enough, your babies are as cute as Vivi

**Baekhyunnie:** excuse but I think my dog is actually the cutest

**TaoTao:** As if! Have you seen my lil Candy?

**TaoTao:**

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** EXCUSE U THAT IS MINE AND BAEK’S SON UR BEING RUDE ABOUT!!

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** can y’all’s sons do this? no? didn’t think so, mine and Baek’s child is the best

**Baekhyun’s hoe:**

**Yeol:** i love my godson what a talented boy

**Hot dad:** Y’all hoe’s can shut up because we all know my cat is the cutest

**Hot dad:**

**Lu:** True though

**Myeonie:** Look at the lil softie I love

**Myeonie:** @Kris buy me a cat

**Kris:** We have dogs though?

**Myeonie:** Did I stutter?

**Dog lord:** @TaoTao why did I just sign for a huge delivery for you?

**TaoTao:** That’ll be my Gucci!!

**Kris:** how the fuck do you afford Gucci? you’re a student

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Sugardaddyyyy

**TaoTao:** Sehun you shut your mouth

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Make me

**Dog lord:** Do Not!!!!!!

**Yeol:** i want a sugar daddy to buy me stuff

**Hot dad:** @Kyungsoo You better start working more hours to provide for your man

**Kyungsoo:** Haha you’re so funny hyung. Remind me when you finish work today?

**Hot dad:** noPE

**Lu:** I know he deserves it but please don’t kill my man Kyungsoo, he’s really a precious softie

**Hot dad:** That’s not what you said in bed last night

**Dog lord:** please stop talking

 

* * *

#####  Mystery Inc.

##### 

**Myeonie:** I know we joke about it but, Tao I just have to know

**TaoTao:** Hyung please don’t

**Myeonie:** Is this sugar daddy dangerous? Are you being safe?

**Baekhyunnie:** Junmyeon hyung’s rlly out here tryna give Tao the sex talk

**Myeonie:** As Tao’s favourite hyung

**Lu:** EXCUSE

**XingXing:** E X C U S E

**Kris:** Myeonie everyone knows Tao’s fave hyungs are chinaline

**TaoTao:** It’s actually Baekhyun hyung but what were you saying Junmyeon hyung?

**Baekhyunnie:** fuck y’all bitches I knew I was someone’s fave

**Myeonie:** Anyway, I just want to know that this guy isn’t going to get all obsessed with you and end up kidnapping you or something?

**TaoTao:** Nah he’s chill, I don’t even have sex with him, just keep him company sometimes

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Yeah dw hyungs, LeeTeuk hyung isn’t a bad guy

**TaoTao:** OH SEHUN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU

**Myeonie:** L E E T E U K ????????????

**XingXing:** You mean THE LeeTeuk hyung? The teacher’s assistant in Sehun’s lectures?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I may have made a mistake in revealing that information

**Hot dad:** So you’re telling me, that Tao has a sugar daddy because of Sehun?

**TaoTao:** Can we not talk about this?

**Dog lord:** okay but leeteuk hyung is a chill guy

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** he’s also very hot

**Baekhyunnie:** yeah he’s on mine and Dae’s threesome list, guess we should cross him off now

**Myeonie:** I CANNOT BELIEVE

**Kris:** Junmyeon used to have the biggest crush on LeeTeuk hyung

**TaoTao:** Oh i’m sorry hyung, I didn’t know

**Myeonie:** OH SEHUN

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** ....... yes?

**Myeonie:** YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Uh you can’t do that, you don’t even live with me

**Myeonie:** @Yeol GROUND SEHUN FOR A WEEK

**Yeol:** sehunnie u have to stay home when u dont have classes which is totally not what you do anyway....

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Can Nini come round still?

**Myeonie:** NO

**Yeol:** sure!!

**Dog lord:** yes good we can play all the games!!! chanyeol hyung you’re the best

**Yeol:** ur welcome kids

**Kyungsoo:** This is so dumb. Why is Sehun getting “grounded” because Tao has a sugar daddy?

**XingXing:** Actually I said I was disappointed before but LeeTeuk hyung is an okay guy, you’re all good TaoTao!!!

**TaoTao:** THANK U HYUNG ILY

**Lu:** Does anyone else find Tao and Yixing’s father - son type relationship a lil too close to be just that?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Well we all know Tao likes calling people daddy

**TaoTao:** CAN YOU STOP EXPOSING ME THANKS

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Love you TaoTao

**TaoTao:** Suck a dick

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Send a guy my way then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated this in a while and that it's a shorter chapter, uni has fully taken over my life haha. I hoping this term will be calmer though and I'll actually get a chance to write a bit more!!
> 
> As always, if you wanna come talk to me, you can find me on twitter @pcyhoe and Tumblr @soft-jihoonie


	5. Bitch I'm crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Dog Lord:** uhm why is tao hyung crying??
> 
> **Hot dad:** : You live with him, why don’t you just ask him?
> 
> **Dog Lord:** he never cries, this is scary
> 
> **XingXing:** Who the fuck made my Tao cry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it's been a while!! Uni and work kept me v busy but I'm back with a new, slightly angsty chapter. I hope you enjoy it!!

#####  Tol and Smol

##### 

**Yeol:** soo

**Yeol:** soo

**Yeol:** kyungsoo

**Yeol:** do kyungsoo answer me

**Kyungsoo:** What Chanyeol?

**Kyungsoo:** It’s 7am, what could you possibly want at 7am?

**Yeol:** i want breakfast

**Kyungsoo:** Go make it then.

**Yeol:** no i mean i want to take u for breakfast

**Yeol:** and then u could come work on the vocals for my newest song

**Kyungsoo:** I see what this is.

**Kyungsoo:** I can’t be bribed Chanyeol.

**Yeol:** but sooooooo

**Yeol:** u used to love going out for breakfast

**Kyungsoo:** With Junmyeon and Minseok, yeah.

**Yeol:** oh

**Yeol:** okay dont worry then

**Kyungsoo:** I can visualise the sad puppy eyes you’re making right now.

**Kyungsoo:** Come to my place whenever you’re ready, I’ll make you breakfast.

**Kyungsoo:** Then we’ll go and work on your song.

**Yeol:** really?????

**Yeol:** ill leave my place in 5 mins

**Yeol:** cant wait!!!!

**Kyungsoo:** Yeah okay, calm down you excitable puppy, go get ready.

**Yeol:** bye soo!!!!

**Kyungsoo:** See you soon Chanyeol.

* * *

#####  Mystery Inc.

##### 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Gang we have another mystery to solve

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Where the fuck is Chanyeol hyung?

**No.1 Vivi supporter: @Yeol** Where are u? I want breakfast

**Lu:** Chanyeol makes you breakfast?

**TaoTao:** Chanyeol hyung can cook?

**Baekhyunnie:** Chanyeol’s breakfast is to die for

**Baekhyunnie:** like u don’t understand, it makes ur day 10 times better

**Hot dad:** Chanyeol’s no.1 fan has arrived

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** excuse u, Baek and i share that title

**Hot dad:** And there’s the other one

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** So no one’s seen him?

**XingXing:** He’s at my place

**Myeonie:** Why?

**Hot dad:** Is he okay?

**XingXing:** Kyungsoo’s cooking breakfast for him

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** ohmygod

**Baekhyunnie:** does this mean??

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Nah, Chanyeol hyung was here when I went to bed last night

**Kris:** What if he left during the night?

**Baekhyunnie:** oh my god

**Myeonie:** Kris please don’t encourage them

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** That’s possible

**Dog Lord:** kyungsoo doesn’t like yeol tho?

**Lu:** Oh you sweet child

**Lu:** So innocent and oblivious

**Dog Lord:** i’m not oblivious

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Luhan hyung don’t be mean to Nini

**Hot dad:** You’re just as oblivious

**No.1 Vivi supporter: @Yeol** The mean couple are being mean to me, I need support

**Yeol:** morning guys!!!

**Yeol:** hyungs pls don’t be mean to sehun in the mornings, he’s sensitive

**Baekhyunnie:** someone’s in a good mood

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** i wonder why.....

**Yeol:** soo made me breakfast! it tasted like heaven

**Kyungsoo:** Don’t get used to it.

**Kyungsoo:** But, thank you, I’m glad you liked it.

**Myeonie:** So out of curiosity, why did you make Chanyeol breakfast?

**TaoTao:** Love that Junmyeon hyung wants to know the gossip as much as we do

**Myeonie:** No, i’m just being curious

**Baekhyunnie:** gossip gossip gossip

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP

**Kyungsoo:** Are you guys going to let me answer?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Go ahead hyung

**Kyungsoo:** Chanyeol wants me to work on the vocals for his new song and he wanted to go out for breakfast. It made more sense for him to come to mine to eat than spend money on food out.

**Lu:** This is so fucking cute, why don’t you make me breakfast, Minseok?

**Hot dad:** I let you sleep with me

**Lu:** Fair point, I can go without breakfast

**Kyungsoo:** Chanyeol and I are going to go work on his song now.

**Yeol:** bye guys!!! love u all!!!

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Love u too hyung!!

**Baekhyunnie:** ....

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** ......

**TaoTao:** ........

**Baekhyunnie:** do u think they’re gone?

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** they must be

**Baekhyunnie:** so guys, who’s gonna spy on them?

**Myeonie:** Children, stop

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** It needs to be someone unsuspicious

**TaoTao:** I volunteer as tribute

**Kris:** Nah, you’re too close to Baekhyun and Jongdae, Kyungsoo would figure it out

**Myeonie:** KRIS STOP ENCOURAGING THE CHILDREN

**Hot dad:** What about Yixing?

**Myeonie:** MINSEOK HYUNG

**Hot dad:** What? We all wanna know how it goes

**Lu:** Yeah that works, Yixing uses the studio regularly so it wouldn’t be weird for him to be there

**Dog Lord: @XingXing** you up for it hyung?

**XingXing:** I really shouldn’t, the boys trust me 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Tao, u know what to do

**TaoTao:** Come on XingXing, for me?

**XingXing:** Fuck

**XingXing:** Fine, I’ll do it

**Lu:** Knew we could rely on you Yixing

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Thank u Tao, you’re the best!

**Dog Lord:** better than me?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** No!! Of course not! You’re the best in my eyes Nini

**Hot dad:** Ridiculous...

**TaoTao:** Sehun, you’re such a suckup

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Fight me Tao

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Anyway

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** What’s the plan **@XingXing?**

**XingXing:** Already on my way to the studio, I’m going to tell them I have final edits to make on a song I’m working on and that they’ll barely notice I’m there

**Myeonie:** Guys...

**Baekhyunnie:** please just allow this once hyung?

**Myeonie:** I was just going to say we should probably create a new groupchat for this, without Yeol and Kyungsoo in it

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** YES! RIGHT! GOOD!

**Baekhyun’s hoe: @Baekhyunnie** spam this chat so they won’t bother to read the conversation later

**Baekhyunnie:** okay!!!!

**Baekhyunnie:** so like

**Baekhyunnie:** what i don’t get

**Baekhyunnie:** is how Tao is still friends with Sehun

**Baekhyunnie:** even though

**Baekhyunnie:** Sehun always mugs him off for Jongin?

**Baekhyunnie:** like if that was me

**Baekhyunnie:** i’d have told him to fuck off long ago

**Baekhyunnie:** so i really admire Tao

**Baekhyunnie:** and truthfully i think Sehun should act like a better friend

**Baekhyunnie:** because Tao’s literally always there for him

**Baekhyunnie:** if Yeol did that to me or Jongdae, i’d fight him

**Baekhyunnie:** okay maybe i wouldn’t

**Baekhyunnie:** but i’d be really pissed off

**Baekhyunnie:** Yeol wouldn’t do that tho

**Baekhyunnie:** not to be rude but i think u should learn from Yeol, Sehun

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Hyung...

**Baekhyunnie:** okay that’s enough, have a good day everyone

* * *

#####  super secret spy mission

##### 

**Baekhyun’s hoe added Myeonie, Baekhyunnie, Hot dad and 6 others to the chat**

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** so **@XingXing** how’s it going?

**XingXing:** I’ve just made it to the studio, Kyungsoo’s singing and Chanyeol has major heart eyes

**Dog Lord:** very cute

**Hot dad:** I want the real gossip though

**TaoTao:** Yixing hyung’s just arrived, give him time

**Lu:** Tao always defends Yixing

**TaoTao:** Uh we’re here to talk about chansoo thanks

**Baekhyunnie:** Chansoo, my favourite thing

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** big mood

**XingXing:** Okay so I went into the studio and Chanyeol startled and then Kyungsoo was the one with heart eyes and he literally giggled

**XingXing:** Do Kyungsoo giggled

**Hot dad:** I’m screaming

**Lu:** Can confirm, he’s scaring the cats

**XingXing:** Anyway, I put on my best innocent face and told Chanyeol I just needed to work on a song and transfer my files, and told them they wouldn’t even notice I was there

**XingXing:** Chanyeol seemed suspicious but Kyungsoo was like “Come on Yeol, let’s carry on”, so of course Chanyeol did straight away

**Baekhyunnie:** HE CALLED HIM YEOL

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Major breakthrough for Chansoo

**Myeonie:** Anything more happening?

**Kris:** Junmyeon, are you seriously getting involved?

**Myeonie:** ... Shut up Kris

**Kris:** Make me

**Dog Lord:** gross

**XingXing:** So Kyungsoo just finished singing harmonies for the song, and he asked Chanyeol if he did okay, and Chanyeol was just staring at him

**XingXing:** So Kyungsoo just says “Yeol?” and Chanyeol like splutters and stammers before saying “Oh my god, you were amazing”

**XingXing:** Kyungsoo starts blushing and telling Chanyeol he’s being overdramatic and Chanyeol keeps insisting he’s serious

**TaoTao:** I feel like I’m reading a fanfiction

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Do u think either of them realise how smitten they are for each other?

**Lu:** If they did then we wouldn’t be discussing this in a separate group chat

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** Tru

**Kris:** Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve done this anyway

**Dog Lord:** what do you mean hyung?

**Kris:** Uh.. I just meant that y’all had that chansoo fanclub chat before

**Baekhyunnie:** why did we let that die?? best chat ever

**TaoTao:** Because Junmyeon hyung found out and made us delete it

**Baekhyunnie:** oh yeah, fuck u Junmyeon hyung

* * *

#####  My dumb husband <3

##### 

**Myeonie:** I can’t believe you almost slipped up and revealed the Sehun and Jongin chat

**Kris:** I WASN’T THINKING

**Myeonie:** CLEARLY

**Myeonie:** Pretty sure Jongin would have a mental breakdown if he found out Sehun actually does like him back

**Myeonie:** And that we have a group chat discussing it

**Kris:** I worry about them

**Kris:** Like we have all this focus on chansoo that they just get pushed to the side

**Kris:** They need just as much support as chansoo

**Myeonie:** I know babe, but the moment you try to help either of them they freak

**Kris:** Why are they like this???

**Myeonie:** I’ll ask Chanyeol to keep an eye on Sehun and give him some advice since he’ll only listen to Chanyeol and Tao

**Kris:** Thank you babe, love you

**Myeonie:** I love you too nerd

**Kris:** Speaking of Tao

**Kris:** I swear something’s going on between him and Yixing

**Myeonie:** Nah, they’re just close friends

**Kris:** I’m serious babe, something seems off

**Myeonie:** You’re going to investigate this now, aren’t you?

**Kris:** The detective hat is coming back out the closet

**Myeonie:** Why do I love you?

**Kris:** Because i’m a dork

**Myeonie:** True

* * *

#####  super secret spy mission

##### 

**XingXing:** Sorry for the silence, they actually started acting professional so I had nothing to report

**XingXing:** However...

**XingXing:** Kyungsoo asked Yeol to go for lunch with him after the studio and obvs Yeol said yes

**Baekhyunnie:** find out where they’re going so i can stalk!!

**Myeonie:** NO

**Myeonie:** This is enough for today, let them have their lunch date alone

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** but how will we find out the goss??:(

**Lu:** You can literally ask Chanyeol and he’ll tell you everything

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** That’s very true

**Kris:** This Chansoo fanclub meeting is concluded

**TaoTao:** But hyung

**Kris:** CONCLUDED

**XingXing:** Please don’t yell at Tao, Kris hyung

**Kris:** ...

* * *

#####  My dumb husband <3

##### 

**Kris:** See what I mean!!!!!!

**Myeonie:** You’re ridiculous

**Kris:** Taoxing is alive

**Myeonie:** That’s a dumb ship name

**Myeonie:** Can you come home please? I want cuddles

**Kris:** On my way

**Kris:** I’ll just go into the office tomorrow instead to finish off

**Myeonie:** Sorry I’m so demanding

**Kris:** Shut up, you know I’d literally do anything for you

**Myeonie:** You’re the best

**Kris:** Love how the kids think all we do is fight, they really have no idea

**Myeonie:** I’ll tell them how amazing you are eventually

**Kris:** Nah it’s fine, as long as I know you love me then I don’t care what they think

**Myeonie:** I do love you

**Myeonie:** Are you coming home soon?

**Kris:** Just got in the car, see you in 15 minutes babe

**Myeonie:** <3 

* * *

#####  Ew

##### 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Hey

**TaoTao:** Okay what’s wrong? Usually you greet me by calling me bitch

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** So I was thinking about what Baekhyun hyung said

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I’m really sorry if I always make u feel second best to Jongin, Tao hyung

**TaoTao:** Sehunnie...

**TaoTao:** You know I don’t mind, like I understand

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** But I shouldn’t put u through that, ur way too understanding

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Like ur one of my best friends and u know me so well and i’d be so so lost without u

**TaoTao:** Bitch i’m crying

**TaoTao:** Shut up I love you so much

**TaoTao:** I know you have zero mean intentions when you “mug” me off, i’m honestly fine with it

**TaoTao:** As long as you don’t ever cancel our plans to hang with Jongin instead then i’m fine

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I would never

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Please accept my apology, I’m so sorry if I ever take it too far, I don’t want to hurt you

**TaoTao:** You’re so cute, you don’t hurt me, we’re fine

**TaoTao:** You know I don’t hesitate to call you out when you’re in the wrong

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** It’s one of the reasons I love u bitch

**TaoTao:** <3 <3 <3

* * *

#####  Mystery Inc.

##### 

**Dog Lord:** uhm why is tao hyung crying??

**Hot dad:** : You live with him, why don’t you just ask him?

**Dog Lord:** he never cries, this is scary

**XingXing:** Who the fuck made my Tao cry?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** My bad

**XingXing:** SEHUN WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?

**XingXing:** I swear to god, if you hurt him

**TaoTao:** Woah Yixing hyung, calm down, i’m fine

**XingXing:** But Sehun made you cry?

**TaoTao:** Because he was adorable and apologised to me. I’m crying because he’s such a cute friend

**XingXing:** Oh. I’m sorry for yelling Sehun

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** It’s okay hyung, i’d act the same way if someone made Tao hyung cry

**Kris:** “my Tao”

**Myeonie:** Not the right time, Yifan

**Dog Lord:** Why did Sehun apologise?

**TaoTao:** Uhm

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I just thought about what Baekhyun hyung said earlier and realised he’s right

**Dog Lord:** Oh

**Dog Lord:** Interesting

**Dog Lord left the chat**

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** ???????? ?? ??????

**Hot dad: @Baekhyunnie** Look what u did

**Baekhyunnie:** fuck

**Kyungsoo:** I’ll handle this.

**Hot dad:** ... is that a good idea?

**Kyungsoo:** I said, I’ll handle it.

**Hot dad:** Okay okay, go ahead

* * *

#####  Softies

##### 

**Kyungsoo:** Are you okay?

**Dog Lord:** i feel like shit hyung

**Kyungsoo:** Why?

**Dog Lord:** i never realised how much Sehun mugs tao off for me and now he’s apologised to tao, i feel awful

**Dog Lord:** like i wasn’t trying to steal Sehun off tao just because i have feelings for Sehun, they’re best friends

**Kyungsoo:** You know you’ve done nothing wrong here, right?

**Dog Lord:** i kept trying to get Sehun’s attention whenever he would compliment tao, i was being unfair

**Kyungsoo:** I honestly don’t think Tao is bothered, he would have said something if he was.

**Dog Lord:** he’s my flatmate hyung, i should treat him with more respect

**Dog Lord:** i’m just going to back away from Sehun and move on

**Kyungsoo:** That’s literally the stupidest idea you’ve ever had, Kim Jongin.

**Kyungsoo:** Why would you completely throw away your chances with Sehun as well as your entire friendship?

**Dog Lord:** because i’m hurting tao

**Kyungsoo:** I really don’t think you are. The solution to this situation is clearly talking to Tao to clear things up. You can also just try not to step in as much when Sehun compliments Tao, but you can decide that after your chat with him.

**Dog Lord:** you’re so logical hyung, i wouldn’t have even thought of that

**Dog Lord:** i’m scared tao will shout at me though

**Kyungsoo:** Tao would never shout at you, he finds you too adorable.

**Dog Lord:** you’re sure it’ll be fine?

**Kyungsoo:** 100% certain.

**Dog Lord:** thank you kyungsoo hyung, i needed this

**Kyungsoo:** You’re welcome.

**Kyungsoo:** Oh, and Jongin?

**Dog Lord:** yh?

**Kyungsoo:** Be more flirty with Sehun, he won’t get the hint you like him if you just keep acting the way you do.

**Dog Lord:** but i don’t know how to flirt hyung

**Kyungsoo:** Don’t be ridiculous, you used to flirt with me all the time before Sehun.

**Dog Lord:** ... sorry about that again hyung

**Kyungsoo:** It’s not your fault i’ve been smitten for Chanyeol since we met. Sorry I didn’t like you back.

**Dog Lord:** the moment i met Sehun i got over it

**Kyungsoo:** I just want you to be happy, Jongin.

**Dog Lord:** i know hyung, i want you to be happy too. i’m gonna go talk to tao now!

**Kyungsoo:** Good luck!

* * *

#####  Mystery Inc.

##### 

**TaoTao added Dog Lord to the chat**

**Dog Lord:** hey guys!!

**Myeonie:** JONGIN

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Are you okay??

**Dog Lord:** i’m fine

**Dog Lord:** side note: kyungsoo hyung and tao hyung are the best hyungs and y’all should treat them right

**XingXing:** I always treat Tao right!!

**TaoTao:** No one treats me better than you Yixing hyung!!

**Kris:** Interesting

**Myeonie:** Kris, be quiet

* * *

#####  Dance hoes

##### 

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Are you sure you’re alright Nini?

**Dog Lord:** of course!! i just freaked out a little is all

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I’m sorry if I upset u

**Dog Lord:** you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Sehunnie

**Dog Lord:** are you okay though?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Ngl I was super worried about u but i thought i’d make it worse if I messaged u

**Dog Lord:** you could never make things worse, but kyungsoo hyung was the most helpful to me in the moment

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I’m glad u had support Nini, I hate seeing u upset

**Dog Lord:** you’re so cute Sehunnie, i’m glad i have you in my life

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Me too!!!

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I don’t want you thinking things are gonna be different between us now, I still feel exactly the same about you as before

**Dog Lord:** good

**Dog Lord:** so i have a showcase coming up soon, i was wondering if you could critique my new choreography?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** I uh yes of course!! When?

**Dog Lord:** how about tomorrow after my last lecture?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Perfect, I can’t wait!

**Dog Lord:** thank you Sehunnie!!

* * *

#####  The Hoes™

##### 

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** so Yeol

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** how’d your day with Kyungsoo go?

**Baekhyunnie:** i’m surprised you haven’t talked about it yet

**Yeol:** i mean it was going great

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** was?

**Yeol:** like it was super cute this morning and he kept calling me yeol and my heart was melting

**Baekhyunnie:** he called you Yeol!!! how cute!!!

**Yeol:** and then we went for lunch

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** that’s good, isn’t it?

**Yeol:** it was so good until jongin got upset

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** .... Yeol

**Yeol:** dont get me wrong, i hated that jongin was upset and was happy kyungsoo was helping him, thats not the problem

**Baekhyunnie:** oh thank god i thought we were going to have to lecture you and i hate doing that

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** so what was the problem boo?

**Yeol:** i didn’t mean to see it

**Yeol:** but kyungsoo put his phone down when the food arrived

**Yeol:** and i sort of read his messages with jongin

**Baekhyunnie:** gasp! Chanyeol!

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** we’ve trained him well, i’m so proud

**Yeol:** calm down hoes

**Yeol:** anyway 

**Yeol:** the messages i saw said that jongin used to flirt with kyungsoo loads

**Yeol:** so i think jongin and kyungsoo have a past, kyungsoos so private so he totally could have dated jongin w/out us knowing

**Yeol:** hoes?

**Baekhyunnie:** i. am. shook.

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** what the fuck???

**Baekhyunnie:** we know e v e r y t h i n g, how did we not know Jongin used to flirt with Kyungsoo????

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** this. is. major. m a j o r

**Yeol:** so im worried bc

**Yeol:** just hear me out a second

**Yeol:** what if jongin still likes kyungsoo and kyungsoo also has feelings for jongin and then not only will i be hurt but my poor little sehun too

**Baekhyunnie:** see i want to tell you that’s not the case but like

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** we thought we knew Kyungsoo and Jongin and now we’re very confused

**Baekhyunnie:** i don’t want either of you to get hurt

**Yeol:** now all i want to do is protect sehun

**Baekhyunnie:** so what did you do after you read the messages?

**Yeol:** i guess i just kinda shut down a lil but soo was too busy helping jongin (which im still fine with!!) to notice

**Yeol:** after we finished the food, i just paid and told soo i had to head home and then i rushed out and left him sitting there

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** and he hasn’t messaged you at all?

**Yeol:** n o p e

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** shit

**Baekhyunnie:** you’re home now right Yeol?

**Yeol:** nah im at the studio

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** what? why?

**Yeol:** i couldnt face sehun yet

**Baekhyunnie:** Yeol it’s late you should go home

**Yeol:** nah ill just sleep here

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** we disapprove

**Yeol:** im fine

**Baekhyunnie:** at least come stay at our’s

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** yeah i’ll order you a taxi!!

**Yeol:** nah its fine u two deserve an alone night

**Baekhyunnie:** Chanyeol istg you better come here or go home

**Yeol:** nope bye have a good night

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** PARK CHANYEOL

* * *

#####  Mystery Inc.

##### 

**Baekhyunnie: @Myeonie** tell Chanyeol he needs to go home from the studio

**Yeol:** baek u gotta be kidding me

**Baekhyunnie:** this is what you get for not listening hoe

**Myeonie:** Park Chanyeol you better have a fucking good reason to stay at the studio this late

**Yeol:** oh trust me i do

**Myeonie:** What is it then?

**Kyungsoo:** The studio? You said you were going home.

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Are u not coming home tonight hyung?

**Yeol:** the reason is unimportant

**Yeol:** probably not sehunnie, there’s leftovers in the fridge if you haven’t eaten yet

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Thank you hyung, i’ll miss you!!

**Yeol:** ill miss u too

**Hot dad:** Did Chanyeol just

**Lu:** Ignore Kyungsoo?

**No.1 Vivi supporter:** Found your answer Junmyeon hyung

**Kyungsoo:** Chanyeol?

**Yeol:** hyung u did not just send kris hyung to come pick me up

**Myeonie:** Damn right I did bitch, you’re sleeping over at our’s

**Yeol:** i hate u all

**Yeol:** apart from sehun

**Dog Lord:** even kyungsoo hyung?

**Yeol:** well im being escorted to the car by kris hyung so i guess this is goodnight

**Dog Lord:** oh... night hyung!

* * *

#####  The Hoes™

##### 

**Baekhyunnie:** i don’t think ignoring him helps anything

**Yeol:** honestly i dont care rn

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** Yeol we didn’t do this to upset you, we’re just worried

**Yeol:** I kno, i just need to be angry for a while

**Baekhyunnie:** okay but u know we’re here for u always, right boo?

**Yeol:** of course

**Yeol:** id be lost w/out u boys

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** we love you lots and hope you feel better

**Yeol:** thank u i love u both

**Baekhyun’s hoe changed Yeol’s name to Baek and Dae’s hoe**

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** there, now you’re ours until you decide not to be

**Baek and Dae’s hoe:** thanks i love it

**Baekhyunnie:** Dae you’re gonna cause drama

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** i know :3

**Baekhyunnie:** i love u

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** love you too hoe

**Baek and Dae’s hoe:** cute!! night hoes

**Baekhyunnie:** night Yeol!!!

**Baekhyun’s hoe:** night!!

* * *

#####  Tol and Smol

##### 

**Kyungsoo:** Chanyeol?

**Read at 01:26am**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this even after the long wait for an update!!
> 
> If you want to come talk to me then you can hmu at @soft-jihoonie on tumblr and @pcy_hoe on twitter!!


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